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5/10/19

I enacted a genocidal abortion campaign upon those GODDAMNED slug eggs.

If you ever gardened vegetables, (or if you've read my post last year) you know that slugs are miserable little shits...

Those greedy fucks will decimate your crops if you don't bring them the pain.

Well luckily for me and the veggies, I found TONS of these:

A handful of small, pearly slug eggs
SLUG EGGS!

Slug eggs are irregular in shape and size. They are very fragile.
A closer look...
Slugs are always defenseless, and they die whenever and wherever I find them. But this was a fucking massacre- I found a horde of their little-shit eggs. Slugs, being utter morons, laid them in the bare dirt of the garden.

For your reference, this is what they look like when laid in soil (not unlike the little fertilizer balls some soil sellers include in their mixes)

Slug egg in the dirt, looks like a pearl but it's filled with fluid.
A mf-ing slug egg in the dirt, waiting to hatch
GET FUCKING SMOOSHED!
Have you ever seen those little balls of evil, partially buried in the soil?


Keep an eye out for them! Whenever I see them, I carefully pick them out, and used a big fucking rock to end them all in a mess of shells and gunk.
A collection of gunky, shattered slug eggs. Good riddance.
FUCK SLUGS! fuck them to death!!


I'm sure a good number escaped the holy plague of destruction that Dad and I brought down upon them... But dad said we'd buy some diatomaceous earth this weekend and sprinkle it around the edges to make sure that any who have the audacity to hatch are met with a hideous death the moment they venture out into the deadly soil.

We also found lots and lots of snails. We walked around with sheers and chopped them into pieces. 

Here's just one picture showing how incredibly frequent these little monsters can be:
Three snails in a space that would fit just about fit under a silver dollar.
Three snails in a space that would fit just about fit under a silver dollar.
Today we wiped out probably ~20 snails, and ~30 eggs.
A decisive victory, the battle in our favor. But... We all know there are hundreds more throughout the yard, hiding in the grass. 
Dad's plan to treat the soil with diatomaceous earth WILL be the next step in this campaign. 


Anyway... Slugs be damned. Snails can go straight to hell with them. 

We fucking wasted the slug population- and we didn't even need the infinity stones to do it. 




6 comments:

  1. Sam SpinelliMay 12, 2019 at 8:09 PM

    LoL, damn dude- tell us how you really feel about slugs. This was a pretty entertaining post though- thanks for sharing the link on your instagram. Again, I had no idea those little balls were eggs... Good to know!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mydadsnameisharoldMay 12, 2019 at 8:11 PM

      Hey thanks for reading! If you want more garden tips check out the tab towards the top!

      Delete
    2. AnonymousJune 6, 2019 at 10:17 PM

      You should ask him about how he tortures animals. Thats sure to give his bitch ass a hardon.

      http://mydadsnameisharold.blogspot.com/2019/06/im-gonna-pretend-these-opossums-are-my.html#links

      Delete
    3. Sam SpinelliJune 7, 2019 at 10:36 AM

      holy shit, yeah I just saw that post on instagram. I think that's wrong, and I don't support the unnecessary killing of animals, it's also very troubling that he takes pleasure in it.

      That said, I think it's definitely the wrong approach to go about harassing a high school student, even if their behavior is troubling. You should probably stop trolling him, considering the fact that he is only gonna take his stress out on more animals. (What you are doing might make you feel better, but I don't think it's going to help)

      Alex, don't listen to the insults and shitposts, but please, please talk to a professional. This behavior is not healthy.

      Delete
    4. mydadsnameisharoldJune 7, 2019 at 10:45 AM

      @anonymous- a hardon? really? Great! In that case let me stomp some mice, pump up my hard one and pound it into your mom.

      @sam spinelli- I'll try not to listen to the insults... But you are right, I'll probably end up taking this out on something alive. Thanks for being kind though. Most of the time when people tell me to get help they also tell me I should get tortured to death, so you are a breath of fresh air.

      Delete
    5. Sam SpinelliJune 7, 2019 at 10:47 AM

      Please don't write them off just because they are angry. If a lot of people are telling you to get help, they are probably on to something.

      Look, at the very least you should talk to your dad. you seem to really admire him, and he obviously loves you so maybe he can help you work through this stuff.
      good luck

      Delete

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