6/5/19

I'm gonna pretend these opossum's are my brother.

Remember when my brother said he'd come help in the garden, but only if dad asked him to?

Well I told dad about that. I told him the only reason Joe never helped in the garden was because he thought it didn't matter to him (dad).

Well obviously, it's dad's favorite thing, so it fucking matters and Joe is an idiot.

But dad said "Let's leave well enough alone, I do not want to see a repeat of what happened last summer." he was talking about Joe's outburst at the dinner table.

Well I said, that Joe and I were both older and more mature than we were last year, and that Joe himself had said he'd help if dad asked.

ANYWAY, long story short dad finally agreed and asked joe last evening to help us weed.

Joe shook his head, and said he'd "rather not."

Dad looked taken aback. He asked Joe if he'd like to at least come see what we were growing.

Joe looked at me, and said, "That's just not my thing."

For real? FUCK Joe. If he died I wouldn't care. I'd be happy.

Those who follow me on reddit probably already know I caught an entire family of opossums on Monday...
a momma opossum with babies perched on her back
I've been feeding them garbage and giving them water
to keep them alive since Monday.

Well I posted about it on r/pics and on r/mildlyinteresting.
I explained: I knew that a couple opossums would help keep the slugs in check and ultimately be good for the garden... But that a whole family would end up needing more food and probably eat the vegetables too. 

For that reason, I really need to kill some of them. I asked some redditors if the babies would be able to survive without the mom, or whether I should just kill half the babies instead. Nobody fucking helped me at all, they just lost their goddamn minds and starting calling me a sicko and sociopath... They also posted me to: r/iamatotalpieceofshit

as if it's some kind of horrible evil to enjoy killing stuff. It's pretty much natural for predatory animals to get some thrill from the kill, why should humans be any different?

Anyway, I could not get a clear answer of which was best so I'm gonna have to wing it. I already let two of the babies go, the others I'm going to compost. But before they get to the heap, I'm gonna finish them in different ways, and each time I'm gonna pretend it's my little, miserable fuck of a brother. 


baby opossums looking through the cage
Hey Joe, do you like my hori hori knife? how about these sheers? What do you think about these nails? Next time you should just fuckign help with the garden.


And I was thinking about what Joe did. I'm willing to bet my mom would have sided with Joe too. She doesn't care about the garden, even though dad would be so happy if she just made an effort. That's why I decided to kill the mom too. 

a family of opposum in a havahart trap
They don't know their future
Hopefully the small ones I let go will figure out how to scavenge on their own, because I'd like them to help with the slug problem. 

Anyway, once these are gone I'm gonna try to bait some rabbits. I'm in a mood.