8/25/18

I got blocked!!!!

I was blocked by a prominent cooking community on google+ and my recipe posts were spam-marked....

I found out because I tried to post my dad's Gelatinized Crab Apple Sauce recipe- and I couldn't.

To this day I still have no idea why i was blocked as all I did was post my dad's recipes and I'm fairly certain I didn't break the community rules.

Well I'm still proud of my dad's recipes and I'm gonna share them wherever they are welcome.

And you, you know how you are, next time your looking for a recipe to cook up check the toilet, whatever you find in there you can cook or bake to your hearts content... EAT UP!

Here's a private letter I sent the owner (who will remained nameless) of one of the largest cooking communities on google+ (which will remain nameless)... After he blocked me from the community...


Hey, it looks like I was spam-marked by you on your community "REMAINING NAMELESS".... 

I was just trying to share my dad's garden recipes with people because I thought they were really good... And I was so proud of my dad I wanted to share that to make him happy. I guess you don't want that to happen. 

After rereading your very lengthy and overly complicated community guidelines two or three times, I still can't figure out how I violated your rules...

I know you "can have literally hundreds of posts flagged as spam in just a single day!" so maybe these were flagged by another user or google's algorithms and you just clicked without looking.... 

Either way, my question isn't why these posts were blocked, i'm not trying to fight your decision. 

I just want to say two things: first, your community seems overly policed, and kind of bland. Second, being that I am blocked from posting there I feel like I have lost all interest in reading what others post... I wish google+ allowed users to "mute" communities so they wouldn't show up in searches. 

That is all. 
-Alex Maria

So, nameless community overseer, you can enjoy your little sphere of power. I'm not welcome in your community? no loss to me, your community SUCKED anyway.

And the truth is my dad's recipes are too fucking good for you anyway!

If anybody hasn't seen my dad's recipes from the garden they are actually really, REALLY good. I put them all together on this page, click the tab up top to take a look.

EDIT: Now the same fucking happened to me on a pun sharing community with my some like them raw post... It was only puns and it didnt' violate the guidelines.What teh fuck???

Harold's Crabapple Gelatin Sauce! Weird but Good!

So when my dad and I got back from Watchung, we picked a bunch of crabapples from the backyard. In order to make....

CRABAPPLE SAUCE!

Here's the finished product:
naturally red crab apple sauce with ginger candies sprinkled for flavor and a cinnamon stick as a garnish!
Crabapple sauce is naturally a beautiful blood-red color!
1) Pick the crabapples. Yep that was obvious, but it is the first step, so there you go.

2) Remove the stems and leaves, then wash them. We washed them in small batches so we could pick them over carefully and trim out the worm holes and any rotted parts:
unprocessed crabapples
3) Ripe crab apples should smell strongly of fresh apples. Depending on the breed they may be reddish like ours. According to dad, some breeds ripen up in august, others as late as October. If you aren't sure just taste one to see if they are good....

*Just kidding that's not a real step, just wanted to see if I could trick anybody into biting into one of these suckers! Even though they smell better than good, they are extremely tart! It wont hurt you to try them (I did), but.... unless you are a lunatic you wont enjoy the flavor. 

The real 3) Core all the crap abbles, make sure you remove any wormy parts... We found the bugs seemed to go for the seeds, so you might find the same. 

Because they are so small you might find it easier to simply cut away the usable flesh of the apple, by cutting chunks away from the core and then throwing out the rest.

The only stuff that should go in the pan is the skins and the flesh- no core, no seeds, no stems.
a pile of cut and cored crab apples in a pan
Crap apples, cored and ready to cook!
4) Squeeze a couple lemons over the apples, and start letting them simmer. You don't need to add any water if its on a low heat setting, with the lid on it. 

5) Seasoning! Throw in three or four sticks of cinnamon and let them cook. Sprinkle in some ground cloves and nutmeg too, to taste. As it cooks it will begin to smell exactly like a hot apple pie!

A pan full of crab apples, simmering in their own juices. Cinnamon sticks in the middle.
Seasoned crabapples cooking on low heat
6) Sugar! You wont be able to eat much of this apple sauce if you dont sweeten it! We used maybe half a coup of honey and 1.5 cups of sugar... Didn't measure, but just do it to taste.
Crab apples cooking with sugar and cinnamon.
The sugar will dissolve very fast when you stir it in. 
7) Let the whole thing cook until it gets thick. Dad explained that crab apples are naturally high in pectin and that a lot of people use them for jelly and jam. He uses them for apple sauce because the as they cook down the pectin causes the apple sauce to thicken up nicely (he said it also thickens into a gelatin texture as it cools)

8) Once it has thickened up quite a lot, spoon in a couple tablespoons of butter! It gives it an unbelievable richness. 

9)Plate and eat! Dad likes to garnish the dish with slivers of candied ginger... It gives a nice little spice and texture every other bite, like so:
Another picture of the crab apple sauce with candied ginger and cinnamon.
In case you forgot what it looked like in picture 1... 

The flavor is very much like a cross between apple sauce, and apple pie- but a lot more tart, almost like it contains cranberries (but it doesn't). Perfect if you are already starting to pine for fall weather and autumn spices! 

SERVING SUGGESTIONS: Eat it hot, spooned over some vanilla ice cream- life changing... or let it get nice and cold and it will gel up, to the point it will taste like a gelatin dessert. 

The color is so vibrant that it would be fun to eat even if it didn't taste great!

Enjoy! let me know how it turns out. If you like it, you can thank of Harold Maria!

PS- check out Dad's other garden recipes!