8/1/18

PUNS: Who doesn't love them RAW? Lots of terrible puns... about veggies- under each pic.

Some more veggies from the garden!

And some worthless puns on each photo's caption!

So I already posted Dad's nutty beet green recipe, and his leafy carrot recipe- you already know we've been harvesting a little bit hear and there.

But there've been other veggies we harvested that we didn't bother to cook:
PEAS be with you, and also with you-
Because fresh veggies are good for your PODY...
I'm glad I PICKED that joke for the first caption...
... it was the FRESHEST,
I just hope I can PRODUCE more for the other pictures
So the past couple days, the peas have started to ripen too! Everytime I go out to weed the garden with dad, we just kinda snack on peas. 

In this handful, I have sugar snap peas, and dwarf grey sugar peas. They are both delicious, but I think I like the sugar snaps better, because the pod is edible, and they are a bit sweeter. Yum! 

Also, in case you didn't know pea plants have beautiful little flowers. Some of ours are still flowering, so I guess we will have peas for a while longer? I'll have to ask Dad if late flowers are a good thing. Take a look: 

I wanted a pun for this one... I thought pretty hard about it,
I hope you don't find this too IRRIGATING, 
but nothing good seemed to BLOOM...
Yeah that was terrible. I PEEL as though I'm PETALING backwards.
This whole caption is utterly VERGETABLE
I doubt anybody is ROOTING for me after that one
Give PEAS a chance...
You are probably wondering what this is all ASPROUT,
where have all these RAWFUL puns BEAN STEMMING from?
They just seem to GROW up out of nowhere
It's VINE by me, if you aren't amused.
Ok, keep scrolling, nothing else to SEED here.

These puns are all SALAD gold.
I know you are GREEN with envy...
But, please ROMAINE calm
And I'll try very CHARD to come up with some good ones.
OK, that was bad but please don't LEAF until its CLOVER
I'm not ARUGULARLY this annoying
These puns are just getting too RADICCHIOS
You're probably wondering why the KALE I don't stop...
I'm SORREL, I just can't.
It's just GROWING out of control. 
I know this is COMPOST to be fun, and...
I hope I haven't SPOILED it for you.
LETTUCE never speak of this again- 
We've been picking greens just about every day, salad with every dinner! Mom and my siblings eat whatever we put on the table-so I guess we kinda-sorta got them to enjoy the garden, at least indirectly, (Even though I still can't get them to take an active interest, or even come out and help). 

By the way, you can probably see that the spinach in the top right of this picture has shot up a stalk... I asked why that happened, Dad said we didn't pinch it back and pick the leaves fast enough- and the really hot weather didn't help. He said this was something called "bolting" where the plants try to make a flower and go to seed because of the heat. The leaves are still fine to eat, but they are a lot smaller. 

Oh well. 

PS: And don't judge us on the clover growing in those greens, I took this picture before weeding a day or two ago, it looks better now.

One more thing: the best herb (Objectively speaking)
Just kidding guys, we're not out of the WEEDS yet...
I had just enough THYME to FEED you a couple more:
Because these puns are kind of a big DILL,
You HERB it here first!
(sorry, I hadn't PLANT to go so overboard,
But these things WILT happen)
...
...
And now I'm really DRIED up,
so if it doesn't bother you too MULCH,
I'm going to hit the HAY
The basil and thyme aren't doing anywhere near as well as the dill, and that's ok with me because dill is the best anyhow. Dad says we have to pinch dill pretty aggressively because its even more prone to bolting than spinach. 

If you are weird enough to like those puns, check out this song. You won't be disappointed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_Umy19k5hI


6 comments:

  1. Your puns aren't funny at all. Painful actually.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seriously!!!??? You're back? What is with you dude? Is this all because of the squirrel? Why don't you lose the anonymity- that way I can send you personal messages describing the taste of squirrel after I finally eat one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. No, I'm good... I don't want your "personal messages" ya creep. You'd probably only end up sending me descriptions of the taste of dick or shit anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why would I waste time trying to guess at a description for something you already know all about?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably because it gets you off, sicko.

      Delete
    2. Whatever anonybitch, you are just grasping at straws. Enjoy gobbling turds.

      Delete

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