I don't know whether you remember this or not, but when we first planted I mentioned that these were Jack O'Lantern pumpkins...
Well if you've been following along this past week, you saw we harvested them!
For those too lazy to follow the link, they came out small....
But that's ok, because dad was never planning on carving these jack O'Lanterns.
He intended to cook them, and so he did!
Dad said that even though Jack O'Lanterns are generally considered to be ornamental, they are actually edible.....
BUT-
They are very water, so most people don't like them. Dad agrees they aren't anywhere near as good as 'eating' squashes, so he has invented a couple ways to make them more palatable, and make use of their unique texture: he makes them into SOUP.
Here's Dad's first recipe (with pics!),
Harold's French Onion Soup O'Lantern:
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| Look how happy he is! It's like he knows he's about to be cooked... |
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| So Autumn |
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| preheat that badboy |
3) Butcher those motherfuckers. (I paraphrased all the steps of this recipe... Especially this step).
4) Slather them in butter.
5) Season them... Dad put Trader Joe's Bagel seasoning on one half...
The other (better half) he seasoned with onion powder, black pepper, and a crushed up beef bouillon cube. (Bold for emphasis because please don't forget this part).
6) Cut some cheese. And when you're done farting, slice some fromage de cheddar.
6.5) Stuff the pieces of cheese into the pumpkin halves, and stuff the pumpkin halves into the oven (use a baking sheet or drip tray). They are done when the pierce easily with a fork.
Here's the end result:
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and the second recipe,
Harold's Jack O' Maple Mush:
Steps 1-3 are the same for this preparation....
Although, we butchered hours in a specially creative way (That is to say, I gave it a face to make it personal. Then I stuck a lit candle in there to give it some warmth)
4) PREPARE THE SAUCE!!!
Put a couple tablespoons of butter in a small bowl, add a but load of cinnamon, cloves, and allspice. Then generously douse in maple syrup, like so:
Kinda cool how the syrup just rolls right off the powdered cinnamon, don't you think?
5) Then, MICROWAVE THE SAUCE!!! for less than thirty seconds, and mix it all together.
6) Try to resist the urge to taste the sauce because once you do, you'll want to freakin' drink it.
7) Slather your pumpkin's insides with the sauce.
8) Pierce the skin in a couple places near the bottom, to allow for drainage, then Stick that saucy little pumpkin in the oven.
9) When the pumpkin looks like a shriveled old man, it's probably done. Pierce with a fork to make sure.
10) Use a spoon to remove the flesh. Mash it in a bowl. Then DRIZZLE MORE SAUCE!!! all over it.
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Well I hope you enjoy!
These are a couple good recipes for the halloween season.
Past years, Dad has made the Jack O'Maple Mash with our Jack O'Lanterns whenever we made an irredeemable mistake while carving, so they wouldn't just go to waste.
The French Onion Jack O'Lantern he invented one year when a gardening friend of his challenged him to a pumpkin cook off using the notoriously unpleasant Jack O'Lantern breed instead of the more widely enjoyed Pie Pumpkins.
According to dad, the other guy lost (he made a pie but it apparently came out awful).
Word to the (un)wise- please don't eat pumpkins that have been sitting out, carved for any length of time. They become unsafe- duh.
Thanks for reading!
Check HERE for more of my Dad's recipes!
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| Cut them in half... Tear out their guts... Stab the shit out of them with a fork... |
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| Butter... Believe it. |
The other (better half) he seasoned with onion powder, black pepper, and a crushed up beef bouillon cube. (Bold for emphasis because please don't forget this part).
 |
| Don't just be liberal with your seasoning, be aggressive. |
 |
| Yeah, cheese. |
6.5) Stuff the pieces of cheese into the pumpkin halves, and stuff the pumpkin halves into the oven (use a baking sheet or drip tray). They are done when the pierce easily with a fork.
Here's the end result:
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| Water cooks out of the flesh, and puddles in the seasoning making a pumpkiny, oniony, beefy broth, meanwhile the cheese floats on top and turns a delicious golden brown... Word of caution, don't just eat out of this as though it were a bowl. It's easy to puncture the skin and spring a leak. Put it all in a real bowl just in case. |
------------------
and the second recipe,
Harold's Jack O' Maple Mush:
Steps 1-3 are the same for this preparation....
Although, we butchered hours in a specially creative way (That is to say, I gave it a face to make it personal. Then I stuck a lit candle in there to give it some warmth)
 |
| "Greetings, from Pumpkin Hell" - The pumpkin we killed and ate, his voice is obnoxiously high pitched. |
Put a couple tablespoons of butter in a small bowl, add a but load of cinnamon, cloves, and allspice. Then generously douse in maple syrup, like so:
Kinda cool how the syrup just rolls right off the powdered cinnamon, don't you think?
5) Then, MICROWAVE THE SAUCE!!! for less than thirty seconds, and mix it all together.
6) Try to resist the urge to taste the sauce because once you do, you'll want to freakin' drink it.
7) Slather your pumpkin's insides with the sauce.
 |
| Yum, saucy insides... |
 |
| Smiling on his way to the grave. |
10) Use a spoon to remove the flesh. Mash it in a bowl. Then DRIZZLE MORE SAUCE!!! all over it.
-----------
Well I hope you enjoy!
These are a couple good recipes for the halloween season.
Past years, Dad has made the Jack O'Maple Mash with our Jack O'Lanterns whenever we made an irredeemable mistake while carving, so they wouldn't just go to waste.
The French Onion Jack O'Lantern he invented one year when a gardening friend of his challenged him to a pumpkin cook off using the notoriously unpleasant Jack O'Lantern breed instead of the more widely enjoyed Pie Pumpkins.
According to dad, the other guy lost (he made a pie but it apparently came out awful).
Word to the (un)wise- please don't eat pumpkins that have been sitting out, carved for any length of time. They become unsafe- duh.
Thanks for reading!
Check HERE for more of my Dad's recipes!
