Et tu watermelons? Holding out for some good pumpkins.

Do you remember this picture, from like 20 posts back?

Taken August 2nd

It was in the status update about watermelons and tomatoes...

Well you might have seen that the tomatoes didn't fare so well. They rotted on the vine. I even wrote a eulogy. 

It was an attempt at humor, to cope with a shitty situation. After all our hard work (especially Dad's) the tomatoes spoiled before they ever got ripe. I was pretty disappointed, but hey that's life. 

Sometimes its not fair. 

I remained excited about the watermelons, thinking they'd be great because of all the rain we've had this year. 

Well, the vines were brown so we picked them a couple days ago. 

Sugar baby watermelons are always on the smaller side... But these were pitiful. 

Look:

Picked Oct 1st...

It's like they hardly grew over the entire two month period. 

I was once again disappointed, especially for dad's sake. 

I wanted the garden to thrive more than ever, he's a miracle worker in the garden anyhow, but I thought now that I was showing my appreciation by helping him, it would be really special if the garden was better than ever!

Even though the tomatoes turned into dripping gunk, and the watermelons were pitifully small, I was (stupidly) optimistic that they'd make up for their small size with big flavor.

Well the watermelons tasted like fucking ass. 

When we cut them open, they were meally, and stringy- kinda like the goop inside carving pumpkins. 

They were also around 80% seeds. 

We tried to eat the little flesh we could...

Dad wrinkled his nose, and I agreed. The taste just wasn't there...

I know my haters are probably gloating right now- but fuck them, and fuck nature. 

I don't really believe in the bible, but I can't help think of that story where the people get kicked out of the fertile paradise in the garden of Eden.... God says something along the lines of, "Eat shit, and die humans... But first try gardening- when you want fruit, the earth will give you thorns and laugh at how much you suck."

Obviously that is a paraphrase, I haven't really read the story, but I think it gets the general idea across. 

This failure felt kind of biblical. Like mother nature was just showing she could be a real (FRIGID) bitch. "Oh, you want to help your dad grow a wonderful garden? How about some tomatoes? I'll turn them to rancid sludge! It'll be great! Grow some watermelons too! I'll make them unpalatable."

Well I know we kinda need nature and the earth in general, so I'm not gonna come right out and say -'fuck nature'- but I'm pretty damn close to thinking it. 

It's tough. Dad put his heart and soul into the garden, and I did too. I want it to flourish. 

I wanted him to be proud. 

Anyway, I'm trying to keep sane, and cope with this. 

I haven't had a chance to let any of this frustration out on the neighborhood critters. I think the squirrels might have finally learned to avoid the trap- haven't caught one in like three weeks....

So I'm having to turn to other things to cope. I started a subreddit that attempts to be funny, but hasn't gained any traction: https://www.reddit.com/r/HiddenInYourGroceries/

But the little amusement I can scrounge by raiding my mom's pantry for suitable items is getting old quick. 

I'll keep setting the trap in the hopes that something stumbles into it. Gonna try some different baits. Hopefully something goes for it soon, because if these pumpkins rot too I'll really need to get my hands on a rodent. 

Wish me luck. 

While you're at it wish the havahart luck, and the pumpkins too. 

Hang in there little guy!