7/26/18

We caught an animal!

This is what happened:

Dad told me to take out the trash for morning pick up.

It's one of those really dark nights, where the air feels heavy and dense... I'm not afraid of the dark or anything, but like anyone else, I move a little bit faster, my ears perk up, and my head is on a swivel when its that dark out.

So anyhow, I went outside at an almost-run. And immediately I heard something banging around and rattling, around the side of the house. I actually dropped the garbage bag, incase I had to fight.

We don't have anything really scary here, mainly just raccoons, sometimes coyotes. I've heard about bear too, but I've never seen one before. So I knew there probably wasn't anything really worth worrying about, but I could feel my chest kinda thudding and my back was tense.

Even so, it's easy enough to imagine some kind of monster or something when it's dark like that.

But I told myself not to be a pussy, so I got out my phone light and just walked right around the corner. I realized it was just a squirrel (trapped besides) and had to laugh at myself.

I went back to throw out the trash and told dad what I found.

I assumed we were going to relocate or kill it, so I asked if we should do it now or in the morning.

He said, and I remember almost word for word, "I've never had squirrels try to get any of my vegetables."

Then he went outside to look, made some chirping sounds at the thing, and then just opened the cage and let it free. It leapt out, did a couple double takes, and then practically flew to the nearest tree.

I didn't tell dad, but I was kinda surprised, maybe even a little disappointed to just let it go. Just because he hasn't had problems with squirrels in the past, doesn't mean we wont ever, so I figured it would've been harmless and easy enough just to kill the thing and be done with it. I was also a little bit curious to know what squirrel tasted like...

Oh well, there's always next time.

we trapped this one without even trying, so I'm sure that we'll catch more. If we catch another, I won't tell dad, that way I'll have a chance to kill and cook it.

Anyone here ever eaten squirrel before? Seasoning tips?

He's looking through the bars, he seems nervous
Next time, you're going in the oven!
UPDATE: Anytime I catch another one of these I think I'll "Recycle" it... Turns out animal remains make a great fertilizer LOL: https://mydadsnameisharold.blogspot.com/2018/08/necro-fertilizer-teeth-and-bones-of-fox.html


7 comments:

  1. So, you're some kinda fucking sicko aren't you... Talking about that squirrel as a "missed opportunity." Bro, you are messed up in the head, no wonder your family doesn't like you or want to hang out in your daddy's garden. NOOB

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    1. @ Anonymous Ummmm? First off, there's nothing wrong with eating animals, second only a bitch comments anonymously, soooo- go fuck yourself.

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    2. LOL, looks like I struck a nerve didn't I? Because you know its true, you are messed up in the head, killing and eating random sqiurrels is weird my dude. OR, are you so butthurt because its true what I said about your fam? They don't want anything to do with you huh. That's gotta be rough.

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    3. HEY SHITHOLE: I see you are still staying anonymous, so you are still a bitch. And you don't know me or my family, so GTFOH!! When you go somewhere else with your typos "Sqiurrel" boy.

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    4. PS, anonybitch, next time I see a squirrel I'm gonna kill and eat it just to spite you...

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    5. "Anonybitch", lol that's really clever. Hilarious that these are time stamped... Did you really take almost twelve hours to come up with that? And why are we still talking about this? Even though the conversation has been over all day, it seems like your butthurt will last forever.

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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